Be Brave and Be Proactive.  Depression Hurts.

Here are some things I learned and wrote in my little encouragement book:

• Sugar produces a stress response in your body.
• Sluggish, tired, brain-fogged...sugar does that.
• Eat low salt, sugar and saturated fat
• Good posture and breathing
• Relax, breathe, exercise, get a massage, take a nap, ride a bike or walk, take a warm bath, read, paint, play music, Chai Tai, play pool, help others, live in the present, lose weight, listen to music, dance, journal or art journal...
• Have a physical check-up including thyroid, sugar, GYN and mammeogram (guys too if you'e over weight.)
• Sleep study.
• Ask questions like:  Where do I want to be this time next year, 5 years, 10 years?.....What are my priorities?  What do I love to do? What part of my character needs work, be gentle but open?  What can I contribute to make the world a better place...can be more than one?  Add your own.  Play, dream and have fun.  Fake it until you make it.
• Yes, some people have to take medication for depression.  Different types of depression can be life threatening.  See a doctor and a counselor or psychiatrist. 

Loving and obeying God has to be my first priority!

   As an addict, in the past, I have used prescription pain meds, nicotine, relationships and until 8 days ago, "sugar."  Yes, I said sugar and junk food, actually.  

   When my mind is obsessed with my next comfort (and that's what addictions do for us), it is not focused on Jesus, God or the Holy Spirit.  1 Corinthians 3:16 say, "Don't you know that you, yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?  If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him, for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple."  That sounds harsh but most addictions do destroy us.  Friends, he really does know what's best for us.  

   I recently got a referral for a nutritonist from my doctor and turned my entire will (including my food) over to God   I'm 6 pounds lighter, more energetic and I'm happier.  

   I guess I thought that even when C.R., at my church, recently accepted "sugar" as an addictive chemical, I could still do this myself.  Well, with scripture, the fellowship, and prayer,  I failed for four weeks using my will-power.  The final pieces fell into place when I  realized at a Wed. night meeting, God wanted me to completely turn this one over to him as well.  It was my idol.  My favorite slogan from 12 step programs, has become "Just For Today."  

   By the way, paying my tithe and giving to "Hope Worldwide, " in other words to God, first, is working out too.  As soon as I wrote the check, my agent called and gave me two gigs in D.C. and a  sister in the church got me a musical production gig.  That pays for my tithe and I'm still praying for more gigs and more private students.   I'm still down-sizing.   This retirement will work for the basics and that's all I need.  I know that God's still in control and still working on me and my budget.  
   I also taught in "Power Hour" at church and had so much more energy after giving up sugar.  YAY!  

 Thank you for blessing me and never giving up on me!

   To God Be The Glory! 

Workaholism

an exerpt from 

"The Artist's Way Every Day"

by 

Julia Cameron

(A Year of Creative Living)

November 5

   Workaholism is an addiction, and like all addictions, it blocks creative energy.  In fact, it could be argued that the desire to block the fierce flow of creative energy is an underlying reason for addiction.  If people are too busy to (write, paint, draw, compose- my interjections.  Julia talks about "Morning Pages" which is what I'm doing with my different journals including this blog.  She also talks about an "artist date" which you put on your calender to do a creative activitiy.)  She says, "if you can't do either of these then you are probably too busy to hear the voice of authentic creative urges.  Only recently recognized as an addiction, workaholism still receives a great deal of support in our society.  .............The truth is, we are very often working to avoid ourselves, our spouses, our real feelings.  In creative recovery, it is far easier to get people to do the extra work of the "Morning Pages" then it is to get them to do the assigned play of an "Artist Date."  Play can make a workaholic very nervous.  Fun is scary.

   Oh, by the way, when I blogged about not having my tithe but planning on giving it anyway and trusting God, I immediately got 2 gigs playing piano at the Fairmont Hotel in Georgetown.  God is good.  Since Sat. was Mr. Warren's funeral, I played a few tunes in his honor, like "Satin Doll" and thought about him a great deal.  How grateful I am that God put him in my life AND made this gig possible.

God Has A Plan For You!

Knowing God has a plan for your life is very important.  

   When things happen that are totally out of our control, it can be very discouraging.  It's easy to become frustrated, to feel afraid and to question what the future holds.

   Putting faith in God's plan allows you to trust that events in your life are meant to be or that God will turn it into the best for you.  It helps us make choices based on prayer, the Word and spiritual advice, knowing that God is , in fact, in control.  There is a peace in knowing that His plan is playing out in your life.  When you are confused, remember that God is not a God of confusion, is still in control and He loves you very much.  Thank Him and His plans.

   You are not alone and you never will be.  God is with you every step of the way.  He is lighting lamps to guide you.  And if you ever do feel for a second that He is not right there beside you, perhaps it's you or perhaps he's building a bridge for you that will keep you safe from harm.  He will lead you on toward the light shining through.  

   As a mature disciple of Jesus, I have seen,  felt and experienced this many times, even in the darkest pit, before I truly became a dedicated Christian.  He still loved me, even then, and he loves you, where ever you may be.

Where's my Evo chicken and turkey dried food?  We're out?  You don't have enough money to buy any?  Meow!!

   Do I love Jesus radically and completely enough to put him 
first in my life?  How much have I been trying to do in my own will- power, knowledge and strength?  Good question?

   In my human pride, it's difficult when my disability checks 
only cover my bills and my three piano students don't cover 
food for myself and my pets.  And forget about the new 
brake pads and Christmas gifts.  But I have to ask myself, 
"Where is my first priority?"

   It was only after a lesson on Sunday that I could buy a little food, $25 worth and only on Monday after a student $25, 
that I could get Riff's cat food, just in time and a little food.  

   A radical love of Jesus calls me to tithe first to Him;  If I love him first and foremost, I can't give him my left-overs.  That's my choice this Sunday and then just as he has done in the first 4 months of my disability retirement,  blessed me in many ways to take care of my bills and basic food for my little family.  

    I'm looking to down size and get a one bedroom condo.  The buyer's market is good but can I get enough for my  3 bedroom.  The seller's market is awful.  Maybe I can sell mine and what's left to pay off on mine could be added to my new mortgage.  It's the condo fee on the 3 bedroom that's killing me.  I feel like it's wasted money that I could give to the poor and my church even when I do get enough students and gigs to make my budget work.

    I still have things to sell, a violin, a PC and an engagement ring, although that's not easy. I can still downsize to a small basic cell phone, get a land line/DSL and get rid of my broadband wireless.  That will save some.  I'm already at the most basic cable, just enough to get the news and a couple shows on my little  t.v.  Don't watch much t.v. anyway.

   I made very good money as a teacher but I've always tithed and I paid at least half for my sons' college.  I socked away as much as I could for retirement after they were out of college.  I showed my Italian half brother the states on a credit card.  Well, that's done.  

     If I'm going to finish this Christian C.D. and publish this children's book, I'll need extra money for that.  I don't expect to make a profit but I would have to recoup my expenses, at least. 

     Well, here goes.  I'm working on it all.  Some say I'm being radical, but hey, that's what Jesus and the early church call us to do.  Perhaps it's the world that has "watered down" their faith and I'm the normal Christian.  Oh, and I might be making my Christmas gifts.  
    I don't need much but have so very much compared to the largest world population.  I can do my part in changing that ratio.  If a lot of people do that,  we can feed the starving.
    Meanwhile, God blessed me with disability retirement, 
brought me through a very difficult illness and I am very 
grateful.  I'm also grateful that he has put me in a place
where I must totally trust him.  I need him for everything and love him more than anything, but I still have to depend on him for even the love to give away.  Thank you so very much, 
Jesus.  I am truly blessed this Thanksgiving.

Gratitud

Gratitude II


This is a gratitude placemat that you can make.  More about it is explained on my arts integration blog
www.drumdream.wordpress.com

Gratitude 


   I am so very grateful for God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit in my life.  I have received so many blessings in my life.  God has always loved me but now that I've repented and been baptized, I am able to draw close to Him every day, all day.  And he truly has blessed me.  This is a poem I layered on to a picture of my childhood rocking chair and the overgrown road into the coal camp where I was born and spent the first 9 years of my life.  There's nothing there now.  You can't even get down the dirt road.
   I was reading this morning in "Crazy Love" and the author was saying that the Bible said that we could test God on tithing.  That he has promised to bless us.  I haven't quite made my retirement checks cover my bills, food, gas etc. but once again I will tithe 10% of my earnings, knowing that God will bless it.  I need a few more piano students and a couple solo or duo gigs a month to be secure but God keeps making it work with surprises...selling an instrument or two, babysitting, and gifts.  I'm not worried, I know he's looking out for me.  Jess and I are sharing our talents with nursing homes a couple times a month.  Jesus calls us to visit the sick, to give (Hope Worldwide) and serve our church community as well.  Started working in children's ministry again, occasionally music and of course CR.  All these are also gifts from God that help me and others.  Thank you, God.