Where's my Evo chicken and turkey dried food?  We're out?  You don't have enough money to buy any?  Meow!!

   Do I love Jesus radically and completely enough to put him 
first in my life?  How much have I been trying to do in my own will- power, knowledge and strength?  Good question?

   In my human pride, it's difficult when my disability checks 
only cover my bills and my three piano students don't cover 
food for myself and my pets.  And forget about the new 
brake pads and Christmas gifts.  But I have to ask myself, 
"Where is my first priority?"

   It was only after a lesson on Sunday that I could buy a little food, $25 worth and only on Monday after a student $25, 
that I could get Riff's cat food, just in time and a little food.  

   A radical love of Jesus calls me to tithe first to Him;  If I love him first and foremost, I can't give him my left-overs.  That's my choice this Sunday and then just as he has done in the first 4 months of my disability retirement,  blessed me in many ways to take care of my bills and basic food for my little family.  

    I'm looking to down size and get a one bedroom condo.  The buyer's market is good but can I get enough for my  3 bedroom.  The seller's market is awful.  Maybe I can sell mine and what's left to pay off on mine could be added to my new mortgage.  It's the condo fee on the 3 bedroom that's killing me.  I feel like it's wasted money that I could give to the poor and my church even when I do get enough students and gigs to make my budget work.

    I still have things to sell, a violin, a PC and an engagement ring, although that's not easy. I can still downsize to a small basic cell phone, get a land line/DSL and get rid of my broadband wireless.  That will save some.  I'm already at the most basic cable, just enough to get the news and a couple shows on my little  t.v.  Don't watch much t.v. anyway.

   I made very good money as a teacher but I've always tithed and I paid at least half for my sons' college.  I socked away as much as I could for retirement after they were out of college.  I showed my Italian half brother the states on a credit card.  Well, that's done.  

     If I'm going to finish this Christian C.D. and publish this children's book, I'll need extra money for that.  I don't expect to make a profit but I would have to recoup my expenses, at least. 

     Well, here goes.  I'm working on it all.  Some say I'm being radical, but hey, that's what Jesus and the early church call us to do.  Perhaps it's the world that has "watered down" their faith and I'm the normal Christian.  Oh, and I might be making my Christmas gifts.  
    I don't need much but have so very much compared to the largest world population.  I can do my part in changing that ratio.  If a lot of people do that,  we can feed the starving.
    Meanwhile, God blessed me with disability retirement, 
brought me through a very difficult illness and I am very 
grateful.  I'm also grateful that he has put me in a place
where I must totally trust him.  I need him for everything and love him more than anything, but I still have to depend on him for even the love to give away.  Thank you so very much, 
Jesus.  I am truly blessed this Thanksgiving.